2013 All Star Crap

As threatened by a recent Facebook post, the two a-holes that write this blog registered for the All-Star Game 5K (to benefit Sandy victims, by the way) in order to hang out with MLB mascots. And also to blog about it for you people. Yes, that's it. We do all of this for the blog. Not because we're creepy or that we enjoy running. If there are no mascots at the end of this finish line slapping us high-five, we will have legit bitch fits. We will throw ourselves on the ground kicking and screaming, causing the runners behind us to trip over our flailing bodies. MLB, you've been warned. Make our desires happen. Oh, and PS? We're making special shirts for this run. Granted, we lost the directions for the letters and numbers, so this is sure to be interesting. Stay tuned for grandness.

We are trying to partake in as many activities as we can since the game is local to us this year (and also, we totally failed you when the circus came to town for Yankee Stadium's last hoorah so we're trying to make it up to you). The 5K was the easiest activity for us to join since it's on the weekend, we work during the week, and we still don't understand what the FanFest Expo is all about. The website and ticket options were confusing. In addition to the 5K next weekend, we're also going to partake in something fun that we'll share with you on our Twatter and Instagram pages (@TravelingBBabes), so be sure to follow us so that you can stay connected.

Speaking of All Star Game, MLB has finally released its rosters! Hooray. In the great words of Harry Doyle, "We think we'll wet our pants." Behold your 2013 all stars:

AL:
Joe Mauer (MIN) C
Chris Davis (BAL) 1B
Robinson Cano (NYY) 2B
JJ Hardy (BAL) SS
Miguel Cabrera (DET) 3B
Mike Trout (LAA) OF
Adam Jones (BAL) OF
Jose Bautista (TOR) OF
David Ortiz (BOS) DH
(This is such BS. There are no other players that strictly career DH'ers and yet we have a category to accommodate the fact that this man can't bend over to field a ground ball)
Clay Buccholz (BOS) P
Brett Cecil (TOR) P
Bartolo Colon (OAK) P
Jesse Crain (CHW) P
Yu Darvish (TEX) P
Felix Hernandez (SEA) P
Hisashi Iwakuma (SEA) P
Justin Masterson (CLE) P
Glen Perkins (MIN) P
Joe Nathan (TEX) P
Mariano Rivera (NYY) P
Chris Sale (CHW) P
Max Scherzer (DET) P
Justin Verlander (DET) P
Jason Castro (HOU) C
Nelson Cruz (TEX) OF
Edwin Encarnacion (TOR) 1B
Prince Fielder (DET) 1B
Alex Gordon (KC) OF
Torii Hunter (DET) OF
Jason Kipnis (CLE) 2B
Manny Machado (BAL) 3B
Jhonny Peralta (DET) SS
Dustin Pedroia (BOS) 2B
Salvador Perez (KC) C
Ben Zobrist (TB) 2B

NL:
Yadier Molina (STL) C
Joey Votto (CIN) 1B
Brandon Phillips (CIN) 2B
Troy Tulowitzki (COL) SS
David Wright (NYM) 3B
Carlos Beltran (STL) OF
Carlos Gonzalez (COL) OF
Bryce Harper (WAS) OF
Madison Bumgarner (SF) P
Aroldis Chapin (CIN) P
Patrick Corbin (ARI) P
Jose Fernandez (MIA) P
Matt Harvey (NYM) P
Jason Grilli (PIT) P
Clayton Kershaw (LAD) P
Craig Kimbrel (ATL) P
(Quick, say the last 3 pitchers' names 3 times fast. Let us know how that goes)
Jeff Locke (PIT) P
Cliff Lee (PHI) P
Adam Wainwright (STL) P
Travis Wood (CHC) P
Jordan Zimmerman (WAS) P
Pedro Alvarez (PIT) 3B
Domonic Brown (PHI) OF
Everth Cabrera (SD) SS
Matt Carpenter (STL) 2B
Allen Craig (STL) 1B
Michael Cuddyer (COL) OF
Paul Goldschmidt (ARI) 1B
Carlos Gomez (MIL) OF
Andrew McCutchen (PIT) OF
Buster Posey (SF) C
Marco Scutaro (SF) 2B
Jean Segura (SD) SS

Our 2013 stadium tour is only 12 days away and we've barely prepared for anything. We started searching for activities to do via the internet machine today. Here's what we're thinking (in addition to the stadium-related stuff):

• Tour of the St. Louis Arch (duh, this is like a must) and a sightseeing riverboat cruise on the Mississippi River.
• Checking out the 360 Rooftop Bar at the Hilton St. Louis at the Ballpark for pre or post-game drinks...or both. Cos' we love the taste of alcohol on our lips.
• Tour the free local breweries because we're the Traveling Beer Gut Babes. Who doesn't like to be drunk at 11 am? Let's face it, awesome things happen when we're drunk and wandering around unfamiliar cities. Just ask Milwaukee, Paris, and Toronto.
• A Haunted History walking tour of St. Louis.
• Check out a blues show at a local oyster bar.
• Riverboat casinos. They have table games. We may never make it home.

Since you guys love our videos so much:

“Look At This F*cking Blog”

Welcome to our first official Sunday blog! Last week we asked if you thought our blogging skills would improve by moving from Friday to Sunday. Thankfully, no one voted for “Yeah, I am not sure there’s any hope whatsoever for your skills to improve because you’re pretty terrible.” This makes a feel a little bit better about ourselves. 1 person chose “Sure. You’ll definitely have more time to think about what you’re writing so that you can stop delivering crap.” Apparently, the rest of you think that we should blog intoxicated without proofreading. Raw and unadulterated. We’re not sure what to think of this, but one of these days, we’re definitely giving you an intoxicated blog and when you complain that you can’t understand it, you’ll have no one to blame but yourselves. Before we get into the rest of today’s post, we should point out that Lisa arrived at Serena’s house at 5:00 to blog and it’s already 7:09 and we’ve only completed the first paragraph. Just to give you an idea as to how easily distracted we are.

Nevermind. It’s 7:11. We were sidetracked by the mini giraffe running on a treadmill in a commercial.

Right. Take 2. Down to business.

7:21 pm. Take 3.

As you can see by the date, our contest to go with Lisa to Mets Opening Day has come to an end. Special thanks to all 4 contest entries. Initially, the winner of the contest was going to go to Rollo Tomasi, self-proclaimed ex-KGB agent. His entry was as follows:

To imperialist leaders of TBB,
I write to you as proof I am to be the one to be going to weakling american sporting event with hot american babe, Lisa.
For many years during glorious revolution I have been watching this game "ball of bases".
I am sportsman. Long ago I play hockey for great Soviet Ice Hockey team, is sport for real men who do not be wearing the caps and running like women. Hockey. That is real man's sport.
But for chance to accompany hot american chick, Rollo will force self to sit through wimpy american game of throw ball and hit ball and catch ball.
Am much looking forward to discussing with Lisa important events and symbolic struggle of working class as seen in typical american sports and all literature in soviet union.
Also wants to drink watery american beer and eat hot dog.
With eager feet I await answer from one who calls herself Lisa or her superior commander, Serena.


Rollo Tomasi

This entry amused us to no end and up until early this week, Rollo had this contest in the bag. A few things tipped the scales against Rollo. For starters, he kept emailing us follow-up emails…incessantly. For no friggin’ reason. And he insulted us every chance he got. The first 2 or 3 emails were funny. After that, Rollo just got ANNOYING! Secondly, we’re pretty sure that Rollo is really Uncle Pat…who also submitted an entry as himself. LASTLY, on Monday, we received the sweetest contest entry from Auntiedukes and we were so charmed, we deemed Auntiedukes winner of the contest! Here’s her entry:

Dear Traveling Baseball Babes
I would like to win this contest ... for several reasons.
1) I have never been to Citi Field (drove past it today!), nor Shea Stadium, come to think of it.
2) I have never been to an Opening Day Game, nor a Met game, come to think of it.
3) I’d like to understand why Lisa loves the Mets (and not the Yankees)
4) I miss hanging with Lisa. Haven't seen her since Paris.
5) And last, but not least, Eats on me!


Auntiedukes <3

How darling is this? In fact, her entry is so darling that it breaks our heart to admit that this whole contest was really an April Fool’s Day joke. However, we plan on making it up to Auntie. We’ll take her to any weekend Mets game that she wants and write about the day on the blog! It will be Auntie’s first appearance on it! Also, we’re making her TBB Super Hero of the Week. Hopefully, this makes up for our insensitive jokes that amuse us, but hurt others.

You may recall that a week or so ago, we mentioned that Megan from BuildASign designed adorable bumper stickers and magnets to advertise the TBB blog. Well, we’ve finally received them and they’re just as cute as they appeared to be online. The magnets are a FANTASTIC quality. They came out really, really nice as you can see here:

Megan was absolutely wonderful. She offered excellent customer service, was extremely helpful, and it was Megan who came up with the clever logo to add to the magnets/stickers. If anyone is in need of merchandise like this for their small business, charity, website, etc., we encourage you to check out BuildASign’s site. They sell customized signs, banners, magnets, stickers, and other assorted items.

MLB Opening Day is finally upon us! We hope that everyone had the opportunity to read Serena’s post about Yankees Opening Day on Thursday. Lisa will be posting about Mets Opening Day next week. So you’ll have TWO special edition TBB posts in a span of two weeks! Can you even handle it?

It’s now 7:49 pm. Apparently Mr. Met visits BJ’s Clubhouse section at every game. Sorry. 7:50 pm.

Like the professional players, we also prepped long and hard for Opening Day. You might be asking yourselves, “What does the TBB do to prepare for Opening Day, I wonder?” Excellent question. Wonder no more, our curious little minions. We shall tell you.

8:23 pm. Sorry. Watched the trailer for The Hangover 2.

We ordered a Sicilian pie with chicken and broccoli toppings…ate ¾ of it…and enjoyed a Major League marathon. We probably would’ve gotten through Bull Durham, but we were a little tired from eating. Annnnnnnd yeah. That’s it. That’s how we prepared. Happy Opening Day!

One lone baseball note for this week, but it’s a gem: the Phillies released Luis Castillo just one week after signing him to a minor-league deal. Guess you should’ve showed up to the first day of practice, huh, Luis? Guess this still proves that you’re still an a-hole who can’t catch an Alex Rodriguez pop up to the infield.

You’ll be excited to hear that next Sunday you’ll get a proper baseball blog as we’re attending the Yankees/Twins game on Monday night. We know how much you love our asinine stadium photos. We will NOT be wearing the sexy Morneau and Mauer t-shirts that Serena bought us for obvious reasons. Those are being saved for Target Field. Speaking of Target Field, our Midwest stadium tour is officially booked as Lisa booked our Milwaukee hotel this morning! The Midwest will never be the same.

In honor of Major League, we leave you with, “Baseball you make our hearts sing! You make everything groovy! C’mon, Baseball! Shake it, shake it, shake it! Baseball, we think we love you!”

It’s now 8:40 pm and Lisa’s sniffing the bumper magnets. Over and out, good buddies!