¡Hasta Luego, Neuva York!

This time tomorrow, we’ll be with Erin and The Favorite in sunny (hopefully) Los Angeles and hitting up our first road trip stadium of the year! Before we talk about how little we’ve done to prepare for this trip and our itinerary, let’s talk about last’s week extremely hurtful poll results.

Since our posting focused on injuries around the league, we asked if there were any players that you wished would just stay on the DL. Only 4 people actually voted, which isn’t even the hurtful part of the situation. 2 people agree with us that there are some folks that should live out their careers on the DL i.e. Milton Bradley or in our case, Carlos Beltran. 1 really optimistic soul preferred to have all men on deck. Good for you, pal. You stay gold, Pony bboy. Lastly, someone decided to tear millions of incisions into our hearts by voting for the option, “we wish YOU would stay on the DL. Stop Blogging! You’re a-holes.” Actually, sir (or ma’am), we’re pretty sure that YOU’RE an a-hole.

As previously mentioned, we’ve done nothing so far to get us into bikini shape. In fact, between the two of us, we’ve gone to the gym 3 times in a week and half and we’ve probably eaten more food than the US Army has in a month. So we regret to inform The Favorite that when he babysits us at the pool while Erin goes to work, he may want to bring a barf bag. The good news is that if he gets tired of us and wants us to shut up, all he has to do is throw food into our pie holes. In a more disturbing note, Erin will have to keep a close eye on us at Sea World because someone may try to throw us back into the tank and Lisa can’t swim.

The good news is that we actually went to TD Bank yesterday on our lunch break to deposit our change into the Penny Arcade:
We patiently waited for the total…
$226 in spare change PLUS $60 in cash from recycling! All those trips to the dirty depot wearing rubber gloves clearly have paid off.
Additionally, Serena has successfully stolen Mr. Met from MJ again. As in…she stole him from MJ’s office an hour ago while he was on his lunch break. He thought he was so clever with his hiding place this time. Foolish man! Mr. Met is now safe and sound in Lisa’s car, waiting to be packed into her carry on bag. Tomorrow, we’ll be hitting up Angels Stadium with Erin and The Favorite to see the Angels perform a smack down on the Athletics after landing at LAX. Tuesday night, after a leisurely drive down to San Diego with Erin, The Favorite, and Keith and a peaceful time at the beach, we’ll be watching the Giants take on the Padres. Hopefully, Serena will actually get Barry Zito’s number this time; however she’ll settle for speaking a complete sentence in proper English to him. Before heading back to Los Angeles, the ladies will enjoy a Sea World adventure while the boys hit up the beach again. Our last stadium of the trip will be Thursday night at Dodger Stadium when the Padres come to town. We’ll have to exchange our navy blue for royal blue for that game. Finally, on Friday, The Favorite will be stuck taking us to Disneyland. At this point in the vacation, if The Favorite doesn’t want to either kill himself and/or us, then he is the most patient man on the planet and should be granted sainthood. Who wouldn’t want to go to the annual Saint Favorite Festival to eat zeppolis?

In Fred K’s Cancer news, we’ve recently received two awesome donations. One came from Serena’s co-worker and the creator of Lisa’s favorite brownies and the other was given by Brother of The Favorite. Thanks to their generous support and the charity of others, we are almost halfway to our fundraising goal. For their kindness, we’ve dubbed them Super Hero of the Next Two Weeks (as we will not be blogging from the Dumbo ride next week, much to the happiness of one a-hole reader who thinks we should stay on the DL and quit blogging altogether. Furthermore, since you have two weeks, we expect a high response on our poll). We’ve also collected quite a few awesome items to raffle off. We’ll be selling these raffles, our awareness pins, kick ass bracelets, and giving away Avon samples at the Bellmore Spring Festival on May 29th. If you happen to be in that area, please feel free to stop by…and maybe make a donation?

On to this week’s baseball notes: That retard Dallas Braden contributed something to baseball other than trash talk this week. In Sunday’s Athletics’ 4-0 victory over the Rays, Braden threw the 19th perfect game in history. The last perfect game was thrown last July by White Sox pitcher, Mark Buehrle…also against the Rays. Ouch. Maybe now Braden will be happy and keep his fat pie hole shut. Joe Mauer returned to the lineup on Sunday in the DH role against the Orioles. He went 1 for 3 with one walk. On Tuesday, he finally returned to his position behind the plate and went 3 for 4 with a homer and a double. On Tuesday night, the Padres handed Zito his first loss on the season. Sadness. We hope that making him the TBB Super Hero of the Week didn’t jinx him because that would be depressing. He lasted 5 innings and allowed 6 hits, 3 runs, and a season high 7 walks. It is his shortest outing of the year so far.

Carol King calls to us with, "So won't you carry me back to California. I've been on the road too long. Take me to the West Coast."

Injuries Love Company

In lieu of our All Star Game ranting, we asked how you felt about the game’s rule changes. All 5 voters agreed that it didn’t really matter because the All Star Game is just a popularity contest. No one felt that the rules were acceptable as they made no difference to anyone but the players and no one had a mental breakdown, muttering, “No. They’re stupid. The entire system is stupid. I hate the All Star Game. And I hate you for even bringing it up now.” Honestly, we assumed that you’d all vote for this option simply because it gave you the opportunity to tell us that you hated us. We’re a bit pleased that you didn’t choose it. Score 1 for the TBB.

The world of baseball has seen its fair share of ouchies this week. Baby Jesus aka Joe Mauer (see Wrigley Field post for more information on the strange religious reference) could potentially be out week to week rather than day to day with a bruised left heel, which he hurt last Friday night when he awkwardly stepped on first base as he lunged to beat out an infield single. This morning’s report claims that the heel is doing better, even allowing him to take batting practice prior to Thursday’s game against the Orioles, but he’s still out of the lineup. Sadness.

Javier Vazquez will skip his next scheduled start, which would’ve been against the Red Sox tonight, but not for any physical ailment. Joe Girardi wants to let Vazquez “catch his breath” somewhere other than Fenway Park we take it. He’ll be held back until Monday when he’ll face the Tigers in Detroit. Phil Hughes will make the start against Josh Beckett tonight instead, followed by CC Sabathia against Clay Buchholz on Saturday and AJ Burnett against Jon Lester on Sunday.

Back to actual physical problems. Jorge Posada left Monday night’s game against the Orioles with a mild calf strain and is listed as day to day. Girardi thinks that he could potentially return for this evening.

After receiving an MRI for general shoulder tightness, Mike Pelfrey was cleared to pitch tonight against the Giants, which is his regularly scheduled start. He’ll face Jonathan Sanchez. Lisa’s looking forward to it. If his shoulder is fine, what was the reason behind his asinine performance in Philly? Hmm? Tell us, Michael. Furthermore, you have an old man face and there’s no way you’re younger than us. Liar, liar, your pants are on fire. The remainder of this weekend’s pitching matchup in Flushing is set to be Wellemeyer against Santana on Saturday and Lincecum against Perez on Sunday.

Yankees GM, Brian Cashman does not think that Andy Pettitte will make his next scheduled start due to a mild inflammation in his left elbow. Pettitte had left Wednesday’s game after the 5th in the Yankees’ 7-5 win over the Orioles, lasting just long enough to earn another win, making his record 4-0 on the season. Not, Andy! Come back to us safely, Andy!

In mental/emotional instability news, Milton Bradley (let’s be honest. Is anyone shocked that this is the player we named here? Probably not) was placed on the restricted list on Thursday, 1 day after he requested help from his team in dealing with “emotional stress” from personal issues. We’ll refrain from making a sarcastic remark here. The Mariners have recalled outfielder Michael Saunders from Triple-A Tacoma to fill Bradley’s roster spot. While on the restricted list, Bradley cannot be in uniform or with the team. He’s expected to miss at least 5 days and manager Don Wakamatsu says that he will not be joining the team on their 8-game road trip that kicks off in Baltimore on Tuesday. Zucker Hillside Hospital is here for you, Milton, with open arms. The environment is very peaceful there, we hear.

Tomorrow, it will be exactly one week before the TBB takes off for California to see Erin, the Angels, the Dodgers, the Padres, and Shamu and go to Disneyland with The Favorite. Ask us what the TBB has done so far to prepare for this adventure. Have we worked out in order to be fit for bathing suit weather? Certainly not. In fact, we’re pretty sure that we’ve done less work, eaten more food, and imbibed more alcohol than during the entire Christmas season. Have we set aside clothes? No. We’re going naked, much to the chagrin of all who will be coming into contact with us during that week. Have we started a base tan? Nope. Again, pretty confident that we’re whiter than we’d been in December. In fact, we’d go so far as to say that we’re so white, we’re grey. Have we cashed in change jar yet? Nope, but at least we’re still collecting change so that’s a plus. Have we waxed our upper lip yet? No. We’re having a fiesta tonight and needed to grow our own moustaches. Needless to say we’re ill prepared. We apologize for referring to ourselves as the Traveling Baseball Babes because there’s definitely no babe here. False advertisement at its best.

This week’s baseball note: Speaking of being undefeated, Serena’s Barry Zito is on FIRE! His record stands at 5-0 after taking the Giants into the 8th in their 3-2 victory over the Marlins on Wednesday. He allowed 7 hits, giving up 1 run and 1 walk, and striking out 4. He has yet to give up a hit on that gorgeous curve ball of his. Since he’s made a complete turnaround from his past few dismal seasons and appears to have returned to his old self, we’re making him our TBB Super Hero of the Week, which we’re confident makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Especially after reading about our moustaches. Sexy.

Robert Palmer spoke accurately of this week when he proclaimed, “Doctor, Doctor, give me the news. I’ve got a bad strain and I’m lovin’ the DL.”